A Yoga Teachers Journey
By
Karen Barbarick
2002
When I was asked to write an article on my endeavors working in the Placer County Juvenile Detention Center as a yoga, meditation and ayurveda teacher my immediate feeling was that my article would never be good enough. Relating to my expectations I realized this is a fear that keeps people from going out into the world to facilitate the divine presence of God. So here I am standing up to the challenge, unfolding my experience.
I realized it is the fear of self that has most inmates locked in the victim, aggressor role camouflaged in ego reflection. I’ve come to realize it is only our judgment of what should or shouldn’t be that puts a value on where one is at at any given moment. Purusha (pure consciousness) desires to experience a spiral downward as well as to experience the spiral up. Somehow within the experience of both ends we find freedom and liberation in the middle. Not everyone experiences extremes and not everyone desires to be the master of body and mind. It’s relevant only to the nature of one’s consciousness.
In taking my training outward I decided to volunteer my time in the darker corners of the world. My intention was and still is to better understand my own darkness. It was in the jail system I realized the fear so many people have of the Christ. What would there be to hold onto if we were to look past our thorns?
I went through the ordeal of a paranoid system masked in a desire to protect me and society. I was finger printed, tuberculosis tested and mentorship skill trained. The rig-a-morrow deterred my momentum to volunteer my time, but somehow I still felt driven. After about six months of this process I set foot through the doors of the Detention Center and into a room of about 30 students ranging from 13 to 20 years old. It was during this first class that I saw how their constricted non-flexible bodies paralleled their constricted non-flexible behavior. A basic forward fold caused such pain they cried out, “Ouch it hurts” and I could see their pain. During this first class I was viewed from a two way mirror by skeptical probation officers and jailers. After a brief explanation of Yoga and Ayurveda basics, we did energization and asana with affirmations followed by pranajama and meditation. A peace and calm filled the room and for some even tears gushed forward. Creating a safe environment in the body through relaxation they had a taste of their true Self. As I left that first session an employee with a mini grant proposal approached me. She said, “someone put this on my desk this morning and I think it belongs to you”.
In my excitement of the synchronicity of events I began the task of writing my first grant according to the curriculum required. The questions were clear and it seemed at least on that day, my intentions had never been clearer. Words flowed with poetic flavor and getting started was difficult but the actual experience was magical. Sure I came across people telling me about the difficulties to writing and receiving grants and I had many other projects going at the time as well as caring for my family. This left me no time to daydream about my healing vision. Only with the intention to be healed. In a sense my students and I needed each other.
I received my first $3,000.00 mini grant working three months two times a week and 2-hour classes and have since then won two more grants while being exposed to many more. With Yoga and Ayurveda leading the way I had an astounding awareness a higher force was working through me. Even if for a split second to fall into that kind of rhythm I could feel the power of connectedness. I started developing a style incorporating my training in Ayurveda along with energization, breath understanding and asana with affirmation. There are no words to relate the challenge of teaching these youths how to pull their energy inward. It is a constant strategy telling them the necessity to turn the eye inward. My main coarse of action was to point out that by seeing the reflective qualities in what we call forth into our lives we can better understand what is happening outside of us. Then by looking at what causes a charge or taxes our energy is often what we are not looking at inside ourselves. The form in which we see it manifest is relevant to the experience of where and how it is felt in our bodies. By creating space in the body these sensations could be experienced. Sensations and feelings could be activated and unleashed.
I noticed we were learning about compassion. I knew this by what I felt every time I set foot in the facility. I let the yoga do the work; my job was to keep the group focused and inward. I remember during one class blurting out, “Yogananda would be so proud” after hearing them affirming “Strength and Courage Fill My Body Cells” while in moon pose. Eventually they had the affirmations memorized.
Once I could get their energy directed, usually by energization or pranayama, I set my asanas to open the heart. I remember this concept being key in my training in Ananda and once their heart was open we could work at strengthening the pelvic floor. This doesn’t always come without a price for the individual that sets out to look upon its Self. Their heart with their truth would lead them into a journey. This is where I brought in the concept of the Three Gunas. Tamas; where we start, Rajas; the place where we “ask the question” and Sattwa; the clarity every human being aspires to have.
I started receiving Thank You letters from the youths. Many would say, I didn’t understand much of what you said, but it sure was relaxing.” Many of them were thankful for shedding light. As though they didn’t have to carry the load themselves. One thing that became clear to me is the need for Yoga and Ayurveda in stressful environments ranks high on humanitarian causes. When a person can sit among all the distractions non-judging what they perceive stay centered, grounded into ones Self as well as open to receive, heart space can be felt. The classroom teachers participated with them creating an even safer environment. Soon I was approached by another organization to work with their team, aimed at building life skills and offering tools for life challenges, on a contract with Community Schools for three years. These schools are a branch of the Public School System and are devoted to working with at risk teens. Students from the jail often end up here. One thing’s for sure, we all have our stories.
Since the beginning of this venture, about two years ago I have been exposed to a world of opportunity, growth, and learning in the area of Health and Human Services. When applying the laws of success I have found patience and openness to receive (in whatever form) is key. It seems there are natural laws to dharma but society is not trained to work with these laws. Patience and perseverance has opened doors at the rate of my own internal growth. It is true that God never gives us more than we can handle because of our innate capabilities to receive only what we allow into our heart. I have also noticed that as experiential creatures we sometimes bite off more than we can chew, but not more than we can handle
Understanding the amount of light to offer a student is a responsible position I learn more and more about with each class. The more sensitized the individual the more care they need to be handled with. This isn’t always obvious. But like with anything…the flip side is that our bodies will know what to receive. Faith is the key in teaching, in healing and ultimately in loving.